Wednesday, June 3, 2015

What is Love

I have been learning so much in my two classes of Family relations and Marriage classes. There are so many things that I would like to address. What is LOVE?
Have you ever thought about what true love is?
I have moments in my life where I thought I loved someone. You know everyone has their high school crush, their first love as most people would say. For me I had this kid in 4th grade stand up on his desk during valentines day and say "I LOVE YOU MARIAH". Squirming in my seat, and turning a little red I sunk down and thought to myself. What does that even mean. Can a 4th grader really know what love is?  Is this real love? 
Good Question. There is probably no doubt that you could have some kind of love for them. We as creatures and children of God have a natural ability to love others. But what I didn't notice is that there are different types of love we can have. 
Their are 4 types of love a person can have... Let me explain.
1: Storge Love: This  is a love that a parent has for their child. A love that will always remain. It is a connection through biological forces. This love never seems to fail no matter how disappointed you can become or even how distant and frustrated you become in your child. 
2: Phillia Love-  This is a love that you have for all of your friends. You know that best friend you have had since preschool and you have been inseparable since. Ya well that is the love that you will always cherish. You share things in common and you share perspective. You genially care for their well-being. You love them in a friendship kind of way. 
3. Eros Love: This is the love that most people connect to Romantic love. The love that has passion and is connected to sexual arousal. You think of all those chick flick movies and you think wow they are in love after knowing each other for 3 days and sleeping with each other. This could be a example of Eros love. But It necessary isn't a bad love it is important to have Eros Love but it is also important that it isn't the only love you have in a relationship. 
4:Agape; This love is  similar to the first love. This is the love that nothing can hinder or change this love. It is the pure love of Christ. This is genuine love. A love that is giving of yourself to others. This is the most powerful love. If we look at the example of Jesus Christ. He loved us so much that he suffered and died for us. 

Now that we have discussed each type of love, can you look at your own personal lives and relationships and connect each type of love to them. What type of Love is in your marriage, with your children or with your friends. I want to take a special look at love in relationships such as marriage. 
I think that all of these types of love should be included into your marriages and families. It is important to consider what Love is lacking and what needs to be kindled. Love can be confusing and sometimes can be misunderstood. 

When I think of love being misunderstood it comes to explain the term "Misattribution of Arousal". Ok so what the heck does this even mean. This is when our differing emotions can produce similar feelings to arousal. Lets use an example. You know the famous show the bachelor. Of course everyone does. All the woman in American watch it every Monday. You see these girls fall in love with the man so very quickly as each of them get to go on dates every week. These are not any ordinary dates. These dates are extravagant and exciting. These settings could cause someone to get excited to create a rush of excitement inside of them. This excitement can sometimes be mistaken as arousal of love. Why do you think sometimes the good girls always go for the bad boys. It is a Rush. It creates some excitement in the body and this can be confused or misunderstood as love. Then you hear on the news that the famous bachelor and the girl he picked break up after the show. Maybe because they were caught in the moment. This is what we need to be careful of when we are deciding what Love is. So What I am really trying to say is don't go on Roller coasters with boys. This might create Misatribution of Arousal.

Here is a good test to see if you have an appropriate attachment or relationship. It is called the RAM test. 
You must KNOW before TRUST
You must TRUST before RELY
You must RELY before COMMIT
and you MUST COMMIT before TOUCH. 

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