Sacrifice

What is sacrifice.
When I think of sacrifice I think of the savior. He sacrificed his life for ours. A selfless act for all mankind. What are we doing in our marriages that our selfless. What sacrifices do you have to make as a married person. Here are somethings that might interest you to know.
Marriage, when it is healthy, will include its share of sacrificing for each other. Two people cannot come together in one home, love, communicate, and care for each other without occasionally suffering for each other.
Is the person with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life a giving person? Is he or she someone you believe would trade their comfort for your needs, if necessary? Would he faithfully sleep at your bedside in the hospital? Would she willingly give up her “me time” to take care of you in a time of sickness?
Are you a giving person? What if finances became tight and you had to choose between your weekly golf time (that you love) and her hair appointment? Would you be willing to give up something important to you to bless her? Speaking to the ladies, if money became tight would you be willing to go without certain comforts to allow your husband to play golf (or other activity he enjoys)?
During the dating/courting phase of a relationship, these small sacrifices may seem like no big deal. You may be thinking, “Of course I’d give up something as small as golf or a hair appointment.” After marriage, reality sets in, and sacrifice becomes reality, not theory – and it is often painful. It is hard forgoing things we think we deserve especially in cases when we believe our sacrifices are not noticed.
My advice is to keep giving.
I know that if we give and if we serve we can find happiness in marriage. I know I am not married yet. But this goes with any relationship you are in. The more you give the more you receive. The more you receive that more you want to give. What a blessing it is to serve your companion. Look for little ways to serve him and to sacrifice things for his dreams. He will be more willing to sacrifice his dreams for yours. 

Beware of Pride in Marriage

Marriage can sometimes be a difficult thing, it is not always happy and cheerful all the time. I think that we have to remember that we as people are not perfect. So we cannot expect our marriages to be perfect. There might be a few disagreements or even a few arguments but in a marriage our relationship depends on communication. The right way of communication. We have to learn how to foster our relationships so that between marriage even when there is disagreements we can all come to a common stand point. 

 

What I have learned and what I have observed in watching other peoples marriages is that we have to give and take what really is important. We have to choose wisely of what is really important to us. Its more of compromising. As humans we have this natural sense of pride in us. Most times it is all about "me" or what can I gain. It really is called egotism. When we focus on ourselves in a marriage this is when we start to see the problems. 

 

Do we know what are spouses dreams are? Do we know what they want. If both spouses would keep this is mind, they can work together to help both dreams of both partners work. If we are willing to show our spouse that we can for them and we want their dreams to come true. We can see that relationships are about giving. The more we give the more we can gain. We gain respect and trust in our spouses. I have really have noticed this in society that it becoming more prideful. This is the root of all failed relationships. We have to be willing to put our spouse before ourselves. 

 

The key to a relationship that mentioned by Gottman is the relationship of friendship. We have to have a friendship with our spouse. As being recently engaged to get married. I have noticed that friendship is my reasoning of marrying my finance. He seriously is my best friend. I can have fun with him and trust him with my life. I am grateful that friendships are the foundation of married relationships.

You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need wont satisfy you.

Whats the big deal, Lower class or upper class. Do you think the class system has a major effect on families?
I have had the opportunity to think about this.I have haven't had a lot of experience living in these situations myself. But I have had the opportunity to witness many situations of the poor class and the upper class. This subject can be very sensitive to some people and I don't mean to make fun of or say things to offend.
As I was thinking about lower class people that have families it is really hard to maintain happiness and a worry free or stress free environment. I have seen situations where the father and mother have to work leaving there children with less attention in a time where they need attention and help in education. This to me is sad and sometimes hard to get around. The parents are doing all that they can to support. We must realize that there is a negative effect on the family.
Now lets look at the upper class. Here we have families who are loaded with money. Who have so much money they don't know what to do with it. This kind of life style can actually also have a negative effect on the family. Dad is full time working every day and weekends never seeing the children.The mother might be working too but usually is left to raise her family by her self with dad being out of the picture. I thought about how children can be effected. They need emotional attention not just physical attention. I think its important in these situations money or no money we need to give adequate  attention to home and children. We have to create time. This to me is more valuable then money. Money can really effect the family.I believe that class structure does effect the family and be a negative influence in children lives. This can also create patterns in families that get passed on to generation to generation. The mother who gets pregnant at 16 and has to be a single mom usually passes that trend down to her daughter. Or the rich kids who base all their happiness of money are raised to think money is their prized possession overruling family life. This can be a viscous cycle. but it doesn't have to be that way. We can make changes. There was a quote discussed in my class that makes me happy.

You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need wont satisfy you.
Wow so powerful. What are our real motives in life what do we need to sacrifice to give more attention to our families?

Patterns Marriages and Families.

My classes have been really interesting these past couple of days. In my marriage class we have been focusing on threats to families and in my family relations class we have been talking about how there are many systems that effect families. We have also discussed the importance of creating patterns in our families.
I had the great opportunity to create a family Genogram. Now if you don't know what a Genogram is that is ok because I didnt know either at first. It reminds me a lot of a family tree but you connect marriages with patterns and relationship statues. for example, were they distant or did they love each other. It was really interesting to go through my family tree and connect patterns of why certain people are the way they are because of their ancestors. I have also noticed a positive relationship pattern in my family. One of those patterns in getting married in the LDS temple. This pattern has continued throughout my mom's side of the family because of the righteous sacrifices my grandparents made. It really is a remarkable story. All of my cousins and aunts and uncles they are married are married in the temple. I am so grateful for that. Of course there are other patterns in my family that have been interesting to me. I learned a lot that we can create our own patterns in our marriages and families. I am excited one day to create traditions of my own.

-Marriage is between a man and wife.  I am so grateful I am taking this course, because I am preparing myself for marriage. I really found it interesting this week as  I was reading through the readings how important it is to understand the doctrine of marriage and why marriage is so important in the plan of salvation. God has a plan for us and it is only possible through his way. I know marriage is essential in one day returning to live with God. It is so important to know the roles that we play in this life. Woman and Men all play important roles in the family. They are all different but they are all working for the same purpose. It is only through a man and wife that children can be born. How lucky are we to have the opportunity to foster children in this life. We are the ones that can open that spiritual portal and let those kindred spirits have a chance to live. I am grateful for that responsibility it truly is a blessing.

Speaking of all this marriage really is a blessing but it is not always easy and it must require our full efforts. We must work at it and perfect it. We must be selfless. This is something else that I learned this week.

Selflessly giving of oneself is one of the hardest aspects of marriage. Our natural tendency is to be self-focused: that we make sure we're happy; that we get our way; that we're right. But happiness in marriage cannot be achieved when we put our selfish needs first. President Ezra Taft Benson said:

"Today's inordinate emphasis on individualism brings egotism and separation. Two individuals becoming 'one flesh' is still the Lord's standard. 

"The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other. The goal of marriage is unity and oneness, as well as self-development. Paradoxically, the more we serve one another, the greater is our spiritual and emotional growth" ("Salvation—A Family Affair,"                         

 

I hope one day I get be selfless and show God I am willing to bring children into this earth.

Marriage Between Man and Wife

Marriage is between a man and wife.  I am so grateful I am taking this course, because I am preparing myself for marriage. I really found it interesting this week as  I was reading through the readings how important it is to understand the doctrine of marriage and why marriage is so important in the plan of salvation. God has a plan for us and it is only possible through his way. I know marriage is essential in one day returning to live with God. It is so important to know the roles that we play in this life. Woman and Men all play important roles in the family. They are all different but they are all working for the same purpose. It is only through a man and wife that children can be born. How lucky are we to have the opportunity to foster children in this life. We are the ones that can open that spiritual portal and let those kindred spirits have a chance to live. I am grateful for that responsibility it truly is a blessing.

Speaking of all this marriage really is a blessing but it is not always easy and it must require our full efforts. We must work at it and perfect it. We must be selfless. This is something else that I learned this week.

Selflessly giving of oneself is one of the hardest aspects of marriage. Our natural tendency is to be self-focused: that we make sure we're happy; that we get our way; that we're right. But happiness in marriage cannot be achieved when we put our selfish needs first. President Ezra Taft Benson said:

"Today's inordinate emphasis on individualism brings egotism and separation. Two individuals becoming 'one flesh' is still the Lord's standard. 

"The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other. The goal of marriage is unity and oneness, as well as self-development. Paradoxically, the more we serve one another, the greater is our spiritual and emotional growth" ("Salvation—A Family Affair,"                         

 

I hope one day I get be selfless and show God I am willing to bring children into this earth.

Threats to Marriage and Family

When talking about marriage and family it is important to know that there are so many threats against the family. I was thinking about how the family is under attack and it starts with marriage. When thinking about marriage there are things in this world such as certain views that are destroying the family life. We see that there is the legalization of Gay marriage. But do we really realize how much this is destroying the family unit. Here are some key points for this issue and why we must stick up for Marriage the way it should be.

•  Marriage is something that you cannot change. Marriage is not merely something you can create on your own.  It is a fundamental human relationship deeply embedded and essentially defined in human nature and history.
• One community of one sex cannot function without the other sex. It is impossible to create more children this way.  We must have man and woman as a unit in our societies.
• Marriage connects the community into unity. Without marriage between man and woman the more likely we have children who have no support of father and mother.
• All children deserve the right to be raised naturally with a father and a mother.
• Legalizing same sex marriage will put us at harm of losing our civil rights to those that do not support same sex marriage. It will alter society, government, laws and rules.
•  There will be much persecution to those who do not support same sex marriage.
• From the beginning of the world God made marriage a commandment between man and women. God’s laws do not change because of man’s desires.
• God’s purposes for us to come to this earth are to multiple and replenish the earth, it is impossible for same-sex marriage to do this.
• Same sex marriage is taking away our religious freedom stance. People are discriminating against those who have religious view of marriage. They are taking away our rights to many religious parties who believe it’s wrong and making them marry same-sex marriages inside their churches.
• Same sex marriage has caused a lot of hatred and stir up in the communities. It is also causing a lot of confusion between children and the way they are being raised. Parents think its ok to teach gender neutral topics and are corrupting the minds of the young ones.

I am an advocate of Marriage between Man and Woman. I respect everyone's beliefs but I do not have to agree with what I know to be wrong. Are you an advocate for families? If so what are you doing to help the family? What are you doing to stand for what is true?