Marriage can sometimes be a difficult thing, it is not always happy and cheerful all the time. I think that we have to remember that we as people are not perfect. So we cannot expect our marriages to be perfect. There might be a few disagreements or even a few arguments but in a marriage our relationship depends on communication. The right way of communication. We have to learn how to foster our relationships so that between marriage even when there is disagreements we can all come to a common stand point.
What I have learned and what I have observed in watching other peoples marriages is that we have to give and take what really is important. We have to choose wisely of what is really important to us. Its more of compromising. As humans we have this natural sense of pride in us. Most times it is all about "me" or what can I gain. It really is called egotism. When we focus on ourselves in a marriage this is when we start to see the problems.
Do we know what are spouses dreams are? Do we know what they want. If both spouses would keep this is mind, they can work together to help both dreams of both partners work. If we are willing to show our spouse that we can for them and we want their dreams to come true. We can see that relationships are about giving. The more we give the more we can gain. We gain respect and trust in our spouses. I have really have noticed this in society that it becoming more prideful. This is the root of all failed relationships. We have to be willing to put our spouse before ourselves.
The key to a relationship that mentioned by Gottman is the relationship of friendship. We have to have a friendship with our spouse. As being recently engaged to get married. I have noticed that friendship is my reasoning of marrying my finance. He seriously is my best friend. I can have fun with him and trust him with my life. I am grateful that friendships are the foundation of married relationships.
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