Wednesday, June 3, 2015

A Realistic Marriage

When you think of marriage you think of bliss. Ever since I was a little child I always imagined my prince charming coming in and rescuing me from the evil dragon. And of course the famous saying "And they lived happily ever after". When I think of marriage I think of happiness and I think of having a perfect world, no problems, nothing to worry about. Everything in life will be better. Now I don't want to down play marriage I do believe that marriage is the best thing that could happen to someone. I also believe that marriage is happiness. (not that I have experienced it yet) (So I have heard). But I think sometimes we get a little ahead of ourselves when we think that marriage is perfect. I think that we expect that marriage will be perfect and that life will be bliss with no problems. but lets be real. That is unrealistic. The truth is that it can be happily ever after, of course after much hard work. I think because simply we are not perfect human beings how can we expect our marriages to be perfect. There will be problems and there will be challenges. Marriage is a Refiner's fire. I have the great opportunity to read the book "And They Were Not Ashamed". I am soon to be married and I have taken the challenged to read some of this book. The book is Laura M. Brotherson if anyone is interested in looking it up. She mentions that Marriage is a Refiner's Fire. 
Why is it a Refiners fire? It is a process of taking something old put it through fire, melting it down, and remolding it into something better. This is marriage. Taking our old selves, going through hard processes or purification of our souls through personal growth. In the book there is a quote that makes it make a little more sense. " Marriage draws husbands and wives toward wholeness through their complementary and sometimes conflicting natures.... It is a quest for wholeness of body,mind and spirit." Wow this is remarkable. Working together to become whole and pure. Purifying some of our weaknesses and refining them into a holier being. This is only possible through marriage between a man and a woman. Problems, challenges, trials are given to us both to grow and become the beautiful diamond that we were always meant to be. Isn't that just beautiful. I love this thought. And it helps you realize that Marriage is more than a contract. It is a covenant. ( I will be discussing this topic in my next blog post). 

The next thing I want to mention is the famous verse in Geneis 2:24. The commandment that was given unto Adam about his wife Eve. "A man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh". What a powerful scripture that comes straight from God. It is a commandment from God to cleave unto one another and to become one. It is important to realize that before marriage we think in a egocentric way. A selfish way almost. "I need to" "I want to" My money", "My apartment". "My time". Do we realize that this changes when we get married. There is no ME, I and MY. It becomes what is best for us. What is best for OUR family. This may seem simple in thought but in action it might be harder to accomplish. But with becoming One with our spouses we can be sure that we will learn over time what is best for the relationship. We cant always expect immediate perfection of course. It takes time to grow and learn. We cant become discouraged. I have heard that it is SO WORTH IT. I don't mean to down play marriage. I actually can not wait to be married. But I think its important to be realistic and to be prepared to work through challenges. 
As we become one with our spouses and as we cleave unto one another. We can find assurance that you can get through the hardest challenges you will ever face in your life. I haven't experienced this yet in my own life. But What I do know is that if we keep God in our lives he can help us learn. We can be refined and become perfect one day just like him. 

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